How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
