It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
