My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize