me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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