belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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