Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
