i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
