i don't plan on having that self control this summer
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
