if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
