Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
