I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.