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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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• (714): View more from California

  the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!

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• (925): View more from California

  Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency

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