Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy