dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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