Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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