Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
we're so committed to being not committed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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