i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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