I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
