well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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