i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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