Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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