Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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