Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
