11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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