It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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