I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
