so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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