I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
her vagine was all disorganized.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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