Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
