He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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