Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I forget how to act sober
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