Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
