I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's like God shit irony all over that family
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize