You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize