no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
