Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
