So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
