This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
