it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
