this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
