I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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