You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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