A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
