I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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