he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
