Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
