I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
