oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I supernannyed him into submission
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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