Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
