so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
