i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
