I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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