it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
