Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
