I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
