fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
