I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am naked and annoyed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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