I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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