I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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