Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize