never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
